what my darling friends have failed to remember is that i humbly possess the most beautiful and charming young relatives, contrary to their rose-colored beliefs. the elegant little lady to my left is olivia. olivia is the fairest of them all, intelligent, and hysterical. she likes to sing and draw (like some other charming individual i know). she's a champion underwater swimmer (can do the entire width of the pool in one breath, mind you). she likes horses and riding her bicycle with proper cranial protection.
this remarkably handsome young sir is ben. clearly on the way to becoming the next james dean, ben is a little hellion with a smile that's sure to win you every time. ben likes to pinch butts and run away laughing meniacally. he likes to fight you with light sabers and darts and dinosaurs--whatever he can find to throw at your face. he likes to ask questions like, "what's bigger, the earth or the ocean?" he also likes to walk around the house wearing nothing but his batman cape and his mother's high heels. but he has a heart of gold and all the makings of a real ladies' man to carry on the family tradition.
you cannot deny that these children are, in fact, the most precious beings you or anyone in existence has ever encountered. they will dazzle you with their wit and intoxicating giggles. you will be left powerless.
and i...i will be victorious.
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