ice can be nice.

remember that damned wintery mix i spoke of so harshly only yesterday? well, it actually turned out to be a semi-fortuitous, near-death experience. instead of going to nyc, we stayed in and had a dinner/game/slumber party. a winter mixer, if you will. we stayed inside and marvelled at how forcefully the snow-ice-rain was pelting the windows.

highlights:
1. i discovered that my new computer has a free trial of jeopardy on it.
2. i danced all around the livingroom to a lawrence welk album.
3. feast-making is one of my favorite activities of all time.
4. i learned that sometimes it is important to remember that the speed of light is 186,000 mph. it doesn't matter that you knew it once. it's imperative that you be able to recall it at any given time, particularly when you are losing a fierce board game.
5. i like wine.
6. nerf darts fit rather well into human nostrils.
7. i never appreciate a toothbrush more than when i don't have one at my disposal.
8. i will never be too old for bedtime stories.
9. i believe sofa beds are terrifying creatures that could swallow you whole in the night.
10. just in case any of you were wondering, a naturally sarcastic personality can sometimes be detrimental

germany has invaded poland.

the war of cuteness has taken a new and unexpected turn. (if the 3.716 of you out there are wondering what the H i'm talking about, check out thetitleis and maybethen blogs in my links).

what my darling friends have failed to remember is that i humbly possess the most beautiful and charming young relatives, contrary to their rose-colored beliefs. the elegant little lady to my left is olivia. olivia is the fairest of them all, intelligent, and hysterical. she likes to sing and draw (like some other charming individual i know). she's a champion underwater swimmer (can do the entire width of the pool in one breath, mind you). she likes horses and riding her bicycle with proper cranial protection.



























this remarkably handsome young sir is ben. clearly on the way to becoming the next james dean, ben is a little hellion with a smile that's sure to win you every time. ben likes to pinch butts and run away laughing meniacally. he likes to fight you with light sabers and darts and dinosaurs--whatever he can find to throw at your face. he likes to ask questions like, "what's bigger, the earth or the ocean?" he also likes to walk around the house wearing nothing but his batman cape and his mother's high heels. but he has a heart of gold and all the makings of a real ladies' man to carry on the family tradition.


























you cannot deny that these children are, in fact, the most precious beings you or anyone in existence has ever encountered. they will dazzle you with their wit and intoxicating giggles. you will be left powerless.

and i...i will be victorious.

oh ye gods.

damn you, wintry mix.

how. how, i ask, could it be 79 beautiful, tasty degrees yesterday, and then SNOW 4 fricking inches tomorrow?! what did we do to deserve this? mike says the only logical explanation is that we're drifting into the sun. (it doesn't matter that you don't know who mike is. i believe him, and you should, too.) i'm supposed to go into NYC tomorrow night for a fancy frenchie dinner with some friends...we want to go shopping and a spend an evening out on the town ...will this heinous weather successfully thwart our dreams? or will we be able to do something normal and fun without repercussions? stay tuned.

it's okay, sir, i understand.

this guy thinks he had it bad. well, i guess he does have a balding, pear-shaped head. but other than that, i bet his life is a breeze. he's probably just looking at a squirrel getting run over by a car. (and if so, why is he not leaping for joy?)

anyway, where was i going with this? oh yeah. life. life is running away from me right now. i can't even imagine all the things that will transpire in the next month, let alone the next two. all of a sudden i'm supposed to finish things at school and get my masters and move and go to italy and come back and move again and find a job and make money and be a real person. i don't think i'm cut out for this. at least not in such a short amount of time.

have i seriously lived in new jersey for two years already? i find this to be an utter lie. and although living in pittsburgh again will be lovely for many reasons, i certainly do not want to stay there. i will miss my friends here and my family and my voice teacher and the ocean and my favorite coffee shop. i will not miss the expensive rent and tuition and strange neighbors and weirdo church. but other than that, i like this area pretty well. i'm sure that pittsburgh will have great things to offer eventually--it's just a matter of finding them. and how the heck do you find a job for the summer when you won't actually be living in a place until july? all of the postings are for current hiring. yipes. sistah's gotta get a plan. but in the meantime, she'll just order cute shoes for herself and hope it all goes away.

also, i'm forever unlucky in the ways of love, so i've decided to write a book about it. many of you may know that i wrote a lot of a book when i worked for the government in dc after junior year. that was good for a while till i had to start making up stuff and it got out of control. but now i think i have enough fodder from my real life experiences to make something. even if it's only a book for myself and a few close friends. my brain can't handle storing all of these stories any longer.

so yeah, i'm stressed to the max and trying to figure out what to do with my life. however, i'm not a total case yet, as I'm still managing to have lots of fun, including several trips to new york and fab dinner parties. also, there's a chance i may get to go see dave sedaris perform live....um yes please.

i am cursed.

you will not believe this, but now my NEW computer will not open a window to the internet. bloody hell! what have i done to deserve this?! is it because there was that one time when i didn't pick up the gum wrapper that missed the garbage can? or about a couple weeks ago, i saw the car in front of me hit a squirrel in the road, and i laughed meniacally? (HEY, i didn't try to hit it!! that's an improvement!!) i know there are only 2.8 readers by now anyway, so i'm sure there's no real emergency, but hopefully i'll be able to post again soon.

oh frabjous day, calloo callay!

no school today!!!!

REASONS WHY I LOVE VALENTINE'S DAY '07:

1. An ice storm has hit Princeton, yippee!! I can't really remember the last time I had a snow day. My roommates and I are gonna party like it's 1999. Actually, we'll probably just spend the entire day trying to catch up on our ridiculous amount of homework--'cause we're cool like that.

2. Tonight is the cheeseburger date night....our group has expanded to include two more lovely friends. Cross your fingers that we don't die driving to the diner.

3. My dad sent me a cute valentine's day package. I think that is just the sweetest thing. I was never that girl in college who would get those gigundo care packages from their relatives and friends. But every year for Valentine's day, I would get a small envelope with a little box of candy and a card from just Dad. What a guy.

4. LOST is on tonight, and nothing could make V-day more special than looking at Jack and Sawyer for an hour.

i've never loved toothpaste so much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlGyyDJHDhw

welcome home party.

hello, my faithful blog readers (all 3.7 of you). my crappy lemon-of-a-computer finally decided to kick the bucket. i suppose one and a half years of unreliable service was all i could reasonably ask of that piece of trash. i had gone for about two weeks without being able to use my computer at home, and then i decided just to buy a new one. the other one never worked well, even after we rebuilt it and reloaded it and wiped and replaced the motherboard and sweet-talked it and sent it off to an all-expense paid vacation to the caribbean. now the only trip it's going to take will be to the jersey dump.

so there's a bunch of money i hadn't intended to be spending. and what did i do yesterday when i realized that i had to buy a new computer? oh, i went shopping. of course. that's what any self-respecting, overwhelmed woman would do. so now i have cute new clothes and a shiny new laptop and a hole in my wallet the size of uzbekistan.

but let me say, this new computer i got is just LOVELY. it's a toshiba, and the graphics are freaking amazing. you don't realize how out of date your computer is until you see a new one. technology moves so fast. no wonder kip loves it so much.

let's see...any news in my life? probably not. i have a lot of work to do, as usual. and this weekend, i have to work ahead because my roommates and i made plans in revolt against valentine's day. on wednesday we will be haulin' it off to cheeburger cheeburger to eat the pounder. if you eat the whole thing, they take your picture with this gigantic stuffed burger toy and hang it up on the wall. and you better believe we're all gonna finish our burgers. we crave fame--that's all there is to it. we thought it would be a pretty fitting tribute to valentine's day and all the emptiness it's ever offered us. instead, we'll fill that void with 16 oz of grease-laden beef. sounds fantastic.

in other news, i have been having daydreams about pottery barn lately. i'm really looking forward to a day when i might actually be able to afford something from that gorgeolous store.

coffee lady.

i've finally found a neighborhood coffee shop to call all my own. it's called it's a grind, and it just opened up near my old apartment (naturally). it's themed after the rock greats, so there are fabulous, gigantic pictures of bob dylan, eric clapton, the boss, and bb king on the wall.

my favorite things to order are the spiced chai latte (to die for) and the nutty cow (hazelnut heaven).

my favorite place to sit is near the fireplace in the comfy leather chair.

my favorite thing to do while i'm there is read while i people watch out of the corner of my eye.

at various points throughout my life, i have made grandiose plans of opening a coffee shop/bookstore. i know it's not the most original idea, but when i first had it, it was fairly novel. i even have a folder filled with design plans (i'm sure those are in desperate need of revision now). but i thought how wonderful it would be to go to a coffee shop and pull a book off the shelf to read while i sat there. there'd be fantastic music. and photographs of people i had known and places i had been. and pillows and funky lamps (but not too funky--i want everyone who comes in to feel comfortable). and there'd be a coloring table for kids.

it would certainly have to be an italian coffee shop. that's the only way i could interest myself in baking. who am i kidding. i'd have somebody else bake. but there would be biscotti and cannoli and crepes with nutella and homemade gelato. un po' di dolci per mangiare.

and guys like this dude would come in and exclaim that i was really on to something. and i would take his picture and put it on the wall next to marvin hamlisch.

gosh, i would love that.

the road ahead.

the road not taken

[robert frost]

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveller, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

i've heard this poem so many times in my life, that it's easy to gloss over how deeply significant it can be. tomorrow is the beginning of my last semester of my masters program. it is terrifying to think of all of the things i must accomplish in order to graduate. but for the first time in many, many years, i am really considering trying to perform. it is definitely the road less traveled by, especially for me.

feeling stressed?

i mean, i've been at the edge of my rope before, but this kid's got it bad:

a guy at work sent this to me today when i was feeling really frustrated with the tedious job i have been working on for the past two weeks, and it totally made my day. The photographer is Diane Arbus, whose photo of identical twins inspired the creepy little girls in The Shining. Check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diane_Arbus

a little goes a long way.

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

[c.g. jung]

we are transformed by those around us. i have been so blessed to always be surrounded by at least one person who challenges me, inspires me, heals me, grows me. but it is always a bit breathtaking when a new person brings another dimension to the table. there are those whose lives miraculously intersect with yours, sometimes only briefly, but if you're lucky, for a long, lovely time...those who are made up of the same stardust, whose hearts beat in the same rhythm as yours. it is remarkable how two people can know one another without knowing any of the details, their souls seemingly interlocking like puzzle pieces.

a small shrine.

Hold on, hold on to your old ways.
Or put off, put off every old face.
And I know, I know you are changed out.
And I hope, I hope you're arranged out.
But I'm still asleep
And you woke me up again.
And I'm still asleep
But you woke me up to leave.

[sufjan stevens]

long time gone.

whoops. forgot i had this thing. ahha. i'll put up some pics from my kansas new year's next time i get on here. but right now i have to settle a score with katie.

five things you don't know about me unless you already knew them:

1. I am absolutely addicted to TV shows on DVD, particularly Gilmore Girls and Alias (and if I had LOST, i would crush on that hard, too). I watch them continually (in fact, I'm watching season three of gilmore girls right now). No commercials. Straight through. Hours. I'll be doing lots of other things. It's especially true whenever I'm alone. It's like they're my friends. Sometimes if I have watched it long enough or late enough, I will dream about them, but I get to be in the story. I feel like Lorelai and I have coffee together and that Sidney Bristow can trust me with her secrets. I know it's a little bit sad, but I love it.

2. I am TERRIBLE at gift-wrapping. This little known fact, which is shocking even to me, is a total embarrassment. In fact, the first time I admitted it was this Christmas. I'm not sure why it's so shameful to me. Maybe it's because I consider myself to be of the artistic/creative variety and feel that gift-wrapping should be in my genetic code. Or maybe it's because my mom can do it, and I can't. Either way, if you get a gift from me and it's wrapped like a baggy newspaper diaper, don't make fun of me because I'm really sensitive about it.

3. Some of you know this one...I am incabable of throwing up. I have never in my life puked, except maybe spitting up milk as a baby (and once when I was thirteen....that's a lie). I don't get the urge to barf--I don't even know what it feels like. I have even let other people touch my uvula trying to make me heave. It just doesn't work, people. You may think you have the magic touch, but trust me, you don't.

4. I spend an abnormally long amount of time grocery shopping in whole foods. I love looking at the perfect pyramids of apples and the fresh greens of the organic lettuces. I read all of the labels on the fancy cheeses. I smell the freshly roasted coffee beans in the barrels (once I saw a nasty child digging her hands through the coffee beans, and i was revolted....but i buy it anyway). I like to listen to the guy behind the seafood counter explain the different fishes to his customers. It's fun to pay $3 for a bag of handmade Italian pasta (it really does taste better-promise). And I really like making conversation with the people working the cash registers. I have considered working there many times.

5. I really enjoy smashing cloves of garlic.

just a little too "merry" for my liking.

i'm a big Christmas fan in general. i love when chestnuts are roasting on an open fire and the stockings are hung by the chimney with care. but there is a major branch of Christmas commercialism that i strongly feel should be obliterated from the face of the earth.

inflatable lawn ornaments.

you spot it from afar....large and looming in the cul-de-sac...instead of offering welcome, it stands like a holiday sentinel guarding the house...quite frankly, i'm not convinced they don't have lasers in their balloonie eyes pointed directly at heckling passers-by...

the people who posted this picture described it as "our tasteless christmas lawn ornament." and they were right. the only thing that is more tastless is when it's filled with blow-up steelers players and superbowl confetti (see my neighbor down the street).

reasons i hate inflatable Christmas lawn ornaments:

1. they dwarf and probably consume small children (see above picture).

2. sometimes they come in the shape of various, nefarious characters that cause me physical pain (i.e. scooby doo, snoopy, or any character from winnie the pooh--particularly tigger coming out of the chimney)

3. now they have those new globe ornaments that move and twinkle and are obviously major contributors in the energy crisis...(again, the steelers one with the confetti)...

4. there is almost nothing more pathetic than a deflated inflatable lawn ornament, save the plastic santa and sleigh with reindeer toppled and dangling from the roof...

5. they automatically make me think less of the undoubtedly decent, warm-hearted people who live there, and that's just not fair.

actually, i'm rather shocked that my family doesn't participate in this hideous yard display...afterall, we do have every star trek and harley davidson ornament on our plastic christmas tree....to my horror, i did hear mom mention that she wanted to get the inflatable santa-on-a-motorcycle for next year.... one can only hope that i'll be living in another country or fall victim to spontaneous blindness by then.

well faldera and fiddle dee dee.

i spent too much freaking money on christmas presents!!!!!!!!!!!!

what in tarnation was i thinking? oh yeah, that i wanted to bring joy through worldly-yet-delightful items into the lives of those i love (and those to whom i am forced to give gifts).....

crapcrapcrapcrapcrap. well, here's hoping that everyone likes what i bought.

i'm going to go drown my sorrows in eggnog. no i'm not.

our cheeks are nice and rosy.

i've never been on a sleigh ride, and i'm starting to think that i'm really missing out. anyone know of a place that offers them in the pittsburgh area? i wanna hear those sleigh bells jinglin' ring ting tinglin' too.

new favorite.

mo willems is my new favorite author of children's books. you have to check it out. the drawings are absolutely hysterical, and while the texts invariably teach valuable life lessons, they are dripping with sarcasm. i bought "EDWINA the dinosaur that didn't know she was extinct" and "the pigeon finds a hot dog" for my darling cousins for Christmas.

(big nerdy secret #783: i was going to practice with the books ahead of time so i could get all of the voices just right when i read them with my cousins...but borders had complimentary gift wrap, and i accidentally wrapped them...now i'll just have to do it on the fly. wish me luck.)

i've about had it.

the island

wave of sorrow,
do not drown me now.

i see the island
still ahead somehow.

i see the island
and it's sands are fair:

wave of sorrow,
take me there.

[langston hughes]

gather ye rosebuds while ye may.

Come, my friends,'Tis not too late to seek a newer world...

Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'

We are not now that strength which in the old days

Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;

One equal-temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

"Ulysses" -- Tennyson

the girls and i watched "dead poets society" today--one of my favorite movies of all time. i distinctly remember watching it when we were in ninth grade english class. that's the first time i really remember being inspired. carpe diem, seize the day. so much of my heart lives for this mantra. sometimes i experience life so deeply it hurts. and then there are the other times....sad to say, i think these times are more often....the times i fall into complacency...how much i behave based upon what i should do rather than what i want to do. part of the problem is i want to do so many things that i end up doing none of them. the other day i had a meeting with my voice teacher. she told me to make a wish list....if i could do anything, forgetting about responsibility and practicality and finances...perhaps i'll share some of my wishes on here.